Avatar Explains and Fixes the Foundational Cracks in Human Relationships

Person: “Why can’t I finally find someone who makes me happy?”

Avatar: “You mean why can’t you find someone who makes your body produce an endless supply of dopamine?”

Person: “I mean everything always starts off cool, but then it dies out of nowhere…”

Avatar: “You mean in the beginning they induce dopamine production in your body, but then dopamine production falls off drastically?”

Person: “It’s like everything’s going fine and then for some reason they always seem to mess it up!”

Avatar: “You mean in the beginning you perceive them as a potentially infinite source of dopamine induction, but then they do something to alter the perception of security you’ve formed about them pertaining to dopamine induction — resulting in norepinephrine production within your body, which neutralizes the effects of dopamine and inhibits dopamine production?”

Person: “I’m starting to think nobody will ever make me happy!”

Avatar: “You mean you’re starting to fear that there is no “forever dopamine” fountain for you to drink from?”

Person: “Why are you saying all those confusing words?”

Avatar: “Sh-sh-sh… Shut up. Just be quiet and listen. You’re a narcissist.”

Person: “I’m not a narcissist, YOU’RE THE NARCISSIST!”

Avatar: “Just shut up and listen. I’m not calling you a narcissist as a character attack. You have a dopamine decency. In so many words or less your brain, specifically your hippocampus, has been injured and it’s trying to repair itself with dopamine. And your hippocampus’ relentless pursuit of dopamine is turning you into a monster in the real world. You’re a vain, selfish, cowardly little douchebag.”

Person: “You don’t know what you’re talking about! Because I know I’m great! I know I’m special and anybody would be LUCKY to be with me!”

Avatar: “But here you are complaining that you’re alone… Just be quiet and let me explain what’s actually happening. Your hippocampus is supposed to consume a balanced diet of hormones and neurotransmitters, but because you’ve been psychologically injured it’s trying to repair itself with one neurotransmitter alone, which is dopamine. The hippocampus is supposed to feed other things like serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, cortisol and others.”

Person: “If what you’re saying is true then how do I fix it? And wait… How do I know it’s just not OTHER people who are the problem?”

Avatar: “Well first of all, other people ARE part of the problem, and I’ll explain how. In fact, you not only share the problem with them, but when you’re with each other you exacerbate it — and then when you move onto new partners (which you inevitably will) you spread this virus (narcissism) like wildfire. In short, because you have an injured hippocampus you go around injuring other people’s hippocampi. Secondly, you fix the problem by practicing mindfulness, humility, reasoning, honesty, generosity and compassion.”

Person: “Aw man, here we go with the spiritual bullshit again.”

Avatar: “I really don’t who you think you’re talking to, but I swear on everything that rancid attitude is going to get you in a heap of trouble that you can’t get out of. I’m not warning you, I’m telling you that you need to tread lightly here. As much as you think it might be, this isn’t a game, its very, very real. Here in reality we have insanely brutal ways of getting that dumb ass little chip off your shoulder. That shit might fly with your human peers, but not in here. I forever promise that you don’t want walk that road with me…”

Person: “Well then how does doing all that stuff fix my hippocampus?”

Avatar: “Have you ever heard the expression it’s better to give than receive?”

Person: “Yeah. So?”

Avatar: “When you give you experience a sense of accomplishment. Accomplishment makes your body produce serotonin. Serotonin augments dopamine. So when you give pleasure, it amplifies the pleasure you receive. That means when you commit to being good to others it significantly enhances how you experience pleasure.”

Person: “Nuh-uhh! Because in the beginning of the relationship I ALWAYS give the most!”

Avatar: “You just made my point for me. Let me spell it out for you slowly… IN THE BEGINNING… DURING THE HONEYMOON PHASE, WHEN YOU WERE GIVING TO THE OTHER PARTY, YOU EXPERIENCED THE GREATEST DOPAMINE HIGH BECAUSE IT WAS SUPPLEMENTED AND AUGMENTED BY SEROTONIN AND OXYTOCIN.”

Person: “Huh?”

Avatar: “So, let put it in terms you might understand… You’re an addict who’s trying to get high. Let’s say you’re trying to get high on weed alone… Because you’ve built up a tolerance due to your dependency, you can’t get high as easily as you used to. So instead of trying to get a buzz off of smoking a pound of weed, why not spike a joint with meth? (And this is just an example — say no to drugs kids)”

Person: “But what happens if I give, give, give and the person I’m with is also a narcissist? Then won’t they take all the dopamine (inducing substances, experiences and behaviors) for themselves??”

Avatar: “Yes. That’s what makes them part of the problem… Because if they become the dominant in the situation and you become the submissive/slave, then the only dopamine you get will be from the breadcrumbs of affection they throw to you after abusing (mistreating, beating, devaluing, psychologically terrorizing, deceiving, stealing from and humiliating) you. Abuse/rage-transfer is a source of dopamine, and the dominant party in the relationship significantly supplements their own high by abusing the submissive.”

Person: “So then what do I do?”

Avatar: “Practice reasoning, honesty, sympathy and compassion, and accomplishing things for people in general until you heal your hippocampus by/with/through regulating the amount serotonin, oxytocin, vasopressin, dopamine and insulin you allow it to consume. As you continue to heal your mind you’ll be able to spot other people whose minds have healed or started healing. THAT’S when you start looking for a mate, assuming you’re looking for one.”

Person: “So I’m never going to find someone who makes me happy?”

Avatar: “Okay, so let’s switch the word happy to “content and fulfilled”. What you’re basically looking for is somebody who you can trust to give as much as they get by way of efforts to induce dopamine production in your respective bodies. After what I said, now you want somebody you can enhance your dopamine high with by giving to them so that you feel like you did during the honeymoon phase of the relationship. Buuuutttt, you’re scared that if you give to them and they’re a narcissist like you are, that they’ll just smoke up all the dopamine and leave you with nothing but fumes.”

Person: “Uh…Okay?”

Avatar: “The thing is, what you experience during the honeymoon phase IS contentment and fulfillment — it IS dopamine enhanced and reinforced by serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin.”

Person: “Ohhhh shitttt!!”

Avatar: “Right? Check this out though… You can have contentment ALL THE TIME — that’s state and condition all the things I told you to practice will lead you to. And when you find another content person, and y’all hook up and start giving each other massive amounts of dopamine, not ONLY will you feel intense bliss, but that shit is gonna last for ages, son. The dopamine high will last way longer.”

Person: “Damn… For real?”

Avatar: “Yup! Yo, do you know what causes the body to produce dopamine, don’t you? It’s perceptions of happiness, comfort and security.”

Person: “Oh shit! Is that why women are attracted to dudes with status and money, and why men are attracted beautiful women, getting money, guns, cars and shit like that??”

Avatar: “Ah… You’re putting it together. Well done, you.”

Person: “Wait! So why haven’t YOU found somebody yet?!”

Avatar: “LOL, great question. First of all, I gotta do this avatar thing, and it takes precedence over everything else, so if it (love) comes it comes, if it doesn’t it doesn’t. I don’t even know how much time I got left in this body, for real. This entity I’m hosting is calling all the shots anyway. If this was Knight Rider then I’d be KITT and it (AP) would be Michael. Secondly, do you know the odds of finding a woman who isn’t narcissistic? The socialization process, especially for people at the tier of influence I move on within the greater social stratification system, is designed to traumatize and/or psychologically injure people for the sake of turning them into easy slaves. One of the weirdest symptoms of narcissism is that it convinces those infected with it that they’re the healthy ones and everyone else is sick.”

Person: “I didn’t understand any of that…”

Avatar: “Where am I going to find women who’ve actually purged themselves of the narcissism virus? Where am I going to even find one who realizes narcissism is an illness, that she’s been exposed, and who’s willing to do the work to get better? I’m sure they’re out there, just… where?”

Person: “So you’re saying you’re completely cured of narcissism?”

Avatar: “Um… I wouldn’t say that. Narcissism IS addiction. So I’m like a recovered addict. I’m cool and not enslaved to it, but I’m mindful that it’s a slippery slope. If I start indulging whatever trace amounts of narcissism remain within me, and start dwelling on the pleasant aspects of the sickness then it could potentially draw me back in. But I choose to live purposefully, so I don’t miss the high of narcissism (if that makes sense).”

Person: “That’s a lot to process.”

Avatar: “Which is why I wrote this out for you. Reference it whenever you need to.”