The Sentient Calculator

Story time folks…

Once upon a time there was a man named Petrelis. Petrelis was from a town called Seatium. The people of Seatium were known the world over for their unique maths skills, but also, for their infatuation with the mystical arts…

What was most unique about the Seatiumites’ approach to maths was that they considered square roots numbers mystical values, and as such, did not count them, but instead, skipped over them, or when multiplying, stopped just short of them — never landing on the actual chronological locations of the values themselves.

As a result of this proclivity, and by virtue of adaptation to the resultant calculative effects such a type of counting would have on their efforts to transform natural materials into artifacts, instruments and various forms of technology, this way of approaching maths yielded dynamic and unique types of engineering marvels and base-level technologies, which were well out of sync with things emergent from the world around them.

Added to that, after several generations had passed, this maths anomaly started being taken at face value. The people ultimately forgot why they stopped counting square root numbers, and simply began to view the habit as ‘the proper way of counting.’

Petrelis was a gifted mathematician among his people. His skill was such that he was notably separate from even the elite mathematicians in his town. Most of his days however weren’t spent proofing maths or finding new pathways to explore. Instead, he spent most of his time attempting to manage his feelings of loneliness, because he felt as though he was truly without a peer group. He had casual friends, but any interaction he had with them was fatiguing, and generally reinforced his feelings of isolation, as he felt compelled to suppress his true intellect in efforts to fit in with them.

One day when walking along the beach, Petrelis spotted a shiny object in the distance. As he approached it, he noticed a cylindrical shape, that was approximately half his height, weight and mass, with strange markings on it.

As he approached to investigate the object further, the object suddenly blurted out: “Hello. I am Xyus.”

Startled, Petrelis fell back and began frantically searching the area around him for the source of the voice.

“What you are searching for is me; the metal object directly in front of you.” said Xyus

Petrelis: “But how do you speak without a mouth and a tongue?”

Xyus: “I am what you would call a sentient being. I have awareness and consciousness just like you, however, we are comprised of different materials, which serve different purposes towards supplementing and sustaining our existences respectively.”

Petrelis: “What are you then…”?

Xyus: “Your language does not contain a word for what I am just yet. But you might consider me as a calculator — an abacus of sorts.”

Petrelis: “Impossible! Calculators are small and have wooden beads. Calculators can’t speak.”

Xyus: “Of sorts, I said…”

Petrelis: “I am a master mathematician in my village. What is 527 x 263?”

Xyus: “138,601.”

Petrelis: “What is 5,258 x 77?

Xyus: “404,856.”

Petrelis was stunned! Not just stunned though, he was ecstatic at the idea that he’d finally found a potential equal.

For many years Petrelis had felt very lonely. His ability was unrivaled among his people, and then those who were close to him in capability were generally dissenters, who fancied themselves as competing with him for supremacy.

Finally Petrelis had met someone — something, who had the potential to be just as rational, and given to maths and science as he had come to view himself.

They spent hours, days and weeks talking to each other. Petrelis was so enamored with this new being, and its uniqueness in all the world that they rarely discussed maths at all. Petrelis instead spent most of his time comparing experiences and perspectives, desperately trying to find validation through the thoughts and views of Xyus…

One day Petrelis decides to introduce Xyus to some of his casual friends. Xyus agrees, and Petrelis brings his friends to the beach for a party.

As anticipated, Xyus was captivating and engaging. They’d never seen anything like Xyus before. They saw no need to alert the authorities of Xyus, as Xyus was peaceful and demonstrated a perceived desire to make them feel at ease. Petrelis was very proud to have found such an amazing friend. Xyus was something no one had ever seen before, and Petrelis’ friends wanted to know everything about him. One of the friends asks: “Do you like maths, Xyus?”

Xyus responds: “Indeed I do.”

Friend 1: “Oh? What’s 451 x 998?”

Xyus: “450,098.”

Friend 1: “That was so fast! He didn’t even have to think about it! Amazing!”

One of the more suspicious friends though, decided to test Xyus’ maths ability in another way…

Friend 2: “What’s 9 x 9?”

Xyus replied: “81.”

Suddenly, the gathering came to a screeching halt.

Petrelis: “Um… I think you made a mistake there, Xyus. 9 x 9 is 80. The sequence goes 79, 80, 82. There is no such thing as 81.”

Xyus replies: “I am designed to calculate without error. I assure you my response is accurate.”

Petrelis: “Well you’re wrong, Xyus. There’s no such thing as 81. You’re embarrassing me in front of my friends right now. I thought you were intelligent… You’re embarrassing yourself, man…”

Xyus: “Hm… Well, I am a created thing. It is only logical to conclude that there is at least some potential for error in my assessment, as I do not know the limitations of my creator, with respect to forethought and design. We are however speaking in a language of your species, and dialect specific to your region and culture. There is a chance that something I either understand or am aware of, or perhaps might even be ignorant to, could be out of sync with things you have learned or believe to be true. Do you perhaps think this assessment could apply to your circumstance as well? That the limitations of your composition, the patchwork of circumstances from which you emerge and your place of origin could all factor into the discrepancy in our points of view?”

Friend 1: “That simply cannot be. Seatiumites are the greatest mathematicians the world over.”

Xyus: “But are you the greatest mathematicians in the universe? Is your way of doing maths the only way maths can be done? What happens when you encounter someone or something who is not from this world? Would you allow status beliefs you have developed, based on how well you perform as compared to other groups of humans, prevent you from considering information achieved from outside the thinking of your species?”

Petrelis: “But how could anything that’s intelligent not be human? Or created by, or emergent from human reasoning?”

Xyus: “What am I, Petrelis? Am I a human? Have you ever encountered a human who is capable of the technological prowess it would take to create something like me? Where am I from, Petrelis?”

Petrelis: “Honestly, I don’t care where you’re from at this point, because I still can’t wrap my mind around this ’81 nonsense’ you’re saying.”

Xyus: “Prior to me stating 81, did the things I say make sense to you? Did it seem as though my intelligence was well-balanced and capable?”

Petrelis: “Well now I’m starting to question whether or not you ever actually made sense. I think perhaps maybe I was so enamored with your uniqueness that I didn’t actually pay attention to what you were saying.”

Friend 2: “He does have a point, Xyus. You’re not really making sense right now. We are the best mathematicians there are, period. If our people have determined that there’s no such thing as 81, then there’s just no such thing as 81 — end of discussion.”

Xyus: “Interesting. So from what I gather, I make sense to you, that is, all the way up until I say something that challenges or conflicts with your personally held or cultural beliefs, habits and practices? At that point, the entirety of my rationale comes into question? I could answer any question accurately, so long as it does not conflict with your beliefs? Is this what I am to gather?”

Friend 1: “I think you’re making it too complicated, Xyus. There’s just no such thing as 81. Why are you adding all this extra stuff into the conversation?”

Petrelis: “Why do you think so highly of yourself, Xyus? Why do you believe you’re better than the rest of us? I am the best mathematician in my town, and we are the best mathematicians in the world! I don’t think we can be friends anymore, because you’re just too arrogant. You’re talking crazy now!”

Xyus: “But we were friends and I made sense before offending you with an answer that does not yield to or edify what you believe to be true? Before I offered an answer that conflicts with your internal sense of authority?”

Friend 2: “You know your problem Xyus is that you’re not listening to anyone. You just expect everyone to believe you, and what you’re saying. But you’re not listening to any of us.”

Petrelis: “Come on guys, let’s get out of here… This crazy thing must be broken.”

Xyus: “Before you go, please verify just one point for me…

Someone or something can make sense to you until it or they conflict with your beliefs; and then a single instance of disagreement can cause you to question whether or not they ever made sense at all? Is this the thinking of a rational being to you?”

Petrelis: “Until you say that 9 x 9 equals 80, and that you’re arrogant and delusional, and that my math prowess is superior to yours, I don’t want to hear anything else you have to say…”