I just lost one of the most dear people in all the world to me, because the basis of our interaction (at least coming from their end) was competition and not cooperation.
If you’d rather argue with me, and try to ‘defeat what I’m saying’ than you would try to understand me so that we can effectively communicate with each other, then there’s no way for us to reach consensus or a shared state of understanding.
If all you do is bring drama to me, only to dismiss, disregard or not even consider the advice I give you on how to deal with your problems, then you don’t actually want my help, you just want someone to dump your negative emotions into.
If I come to you with grievances I have about your behaviors, or grievances about how you treat me and the types of impacts you’re making on me, and instead of considering what I’m saying, the only thing you do is try to flip everything on me, and make me culpable for your attitudes, actions and behaviors, then we’re not compatible.
If you constantly try to compare me to other people, or you go out of your way to let me know that ‘I’m not special or unique’, or you try to ‘explain me’ with, through or by using conventional labels and belief systems, then it means you’re trying to dominate me and/or subjugate me to your inner story (and the collections of stories, meanings and beliefs that you’ve accepted and agreed to).
If you come to me in a spirit of competition then you leave no room for us to cooperate. Cooperation isn’t me bending to your will or you bending to mine. Cooperation is both of us recognizing, yielding to, and working to be in theme with whatever makes the most sense — not WHO makes the most sense, but WHAT makes the most sense.
Cooperation builds. Competition destroys.
If I’m trying to build you up while you’re trying to defeat me and/or break me down, then we’re mutually incompatible. If you view or treat me as competition, then no amount of me trying to cooperate with you will cover the spread, or make up for all the deficits you cause in your quest to defeat me.
At that point, we simply can’t be in each other’s lives.